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Finding guidance for a stubborn child


It is really a hell to live in my house. I have an elder brother who takes drugs and does not listen to my parents.  When he is not normal he insults my mom a lot; it is unbearable.  But later I feel sad when I see him asking pardon from my mum. I know he loves mum loads, but when he takes drugs he says all sorts of things to mum. Before he was not like that and he was really a very good brother. Please tell me some duas I can read for him to change his bad habits and to stop meeting those friends who give him drugs.  I thank you in advance Allah will reward you for helping so many people. Ameen


There is a beautiful hadith of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) in which he related the story of a person who lived a long time ago. He had murdered 99 people and finally wanted to repent from his sins. So he found a priest and asked him whether he would be forgiven by God. The priest replied that murdering one man was bad enough, killing 99 people would certainly not be forgiven by God. So the man killed him the priest too.
He proceeded and then found a good scholar and asked him the same question: having killed 100 people, was there any chance of forgiveness? He replied in the affirmative. He then asked what he had to do in order to gain forgiveness. The scholar directed him to a far-off land and told him to migrate there, and worship Allah with the people he finds there.
The man set off to this new land. On the way however, he died. The angel of mercy and the angel of punishment appeared and began arguing with one another. The angel of punishment argued that the man should be dragged to hell because he had murdered 100 people and had never performed good in his life. The angel of mercy reminded the other angel that he had turned a corner in his life and was intent on going to this new place to worship Allah. Eventually, a third party decided that the best way to decide the matter was to measure the distance between where he had come from and where he was going. If he was closer to his destination, then the angel of mercy should take the person. Otherwise, the angel of punishment could take him.
When the land was measured, it was found that he was closer to the place he was destined for, and therefore the angel of mercy took him. In another variation of the same report, the land where he had come from was actually shorter. But Allah immediately shrank that distance, so that the angel of mercy could take him instead.

There are two reasons for sharing this Hadith with you. Firstly, it shows the infinite extent of Allah’s mercy and compassion. Even after murdering 100 souls, a person can still find forgiveness.

Secondly, the scholar instructed the man that if he wanted forgiveness, he would after leave the land he was currently residing in. In other words, he had to change the environment around him.
The exact same applies to your brother. He needs to be removed from his current environment so that he now has different friends and different places to go. As for the duas, the best solution at the moment is to make him attend the mosque as much as possible. There, he will change his environment, and by virtue of being in the mosque, he will be performing Salah and performing other forms of worship. In fact, for him, simply being in the mosque is a form of worship.
We sincerely pray that the peace of your home is quickly restored, Ameen.

Hijri Date

Monday Shaaban 23 1437
Monday 30 May 2016

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